So I’m a minor Internet celebrity for the SECOND time in my life, a rare feat. It’s fantastic in that (a) you feel like Mr. Awesome, and (b) you’re glad you’re not famous all the time. Hell, this isn’t even real fame; I haven’t been recognized by a single stranger at the grocery store. Just have to deal with comment trolls.

Speaking of which, here’s the major points of discussion that came out of my tale:

1. No it’s not a viral marketing effort by Apple, though I’ll grant it sure does read like one.

2. Should we have chased the perp down the street? Well, we certainly could have contacted the police at that point, but our adrenaline was going and I defy anyone at that point to not pursue the moving iPhone. The hunt was on. Granted, if the perp had looked shady or intimidating – as opposed to waving us over to him – we wouldn’t have so boldly walked over.

3. Yes, I’ll be contacting the bar and telling them the story, once I get a spare second (it’s my first day back at work).

4. The whole racial thing. People were seriously titling their comments “Racism in America.” It’s a story about an iPhone!

My wife was the first person to clearly point out why some folks may have been offended: the sentence “It was a Puerto Rican neighborhood” is short, choppy, and stands out a bit, almost like a declarative to set the tone for what happened next. But that’s a flaw in my writing, not an intentional slight, as most reasonable readers understood. I don’t have too much to add to my comments at the bottom of the original post – I certainly don’t apologize for a racist slant that didn’t exist. Hell, Puerto Rican isn’t even a race.

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It’s occurred to me that Internet celebrity is skewed heavily toward pictures and movies, no big surprise. I’ve read things online that have left me crying real tears from laughing, but I’m much more likely to make random jokes about David (or David-plus-Christian, or Chad-as-David-plus-Christian…) Point being that I fall into the former category, so even with the bonus points of telling an Apple-related story, my 15 minutes are up like Pixar.

My only chance is to keep writing in this blog and turn into the next Wil Wheaton. Except he’s way funnier than me. Am I funny? Is this funny? Laugh or something. Penis.

But seriously, folks, I’ve been intending to blog for a little while now, and procrastinating with wanting to install it locally on happywaffle.com and get it all perfect. Ah, forget it. Here I am, I’ll start.