Loving animals is a core part of Kiki’s identity—one of her go-to t-shirts reads “Be kind to animals or I’ll kill you.” (I bought it for her.) The number of times we’ve risked adopting an animal is so high that it’s a wonder we’ve actually gotten so few.

Last year, a butterball of a hamster snuck past the defenses, so to speak. It all started with an act of Big Government that would make Ron Swanson grumble: The Netherlands banned certain non-native species as pets, among them the Russian dwarf hamster. Our local pet shop had one who’d been available for awhile, but nobody wanted because he was a biter. Kiki asked them: What will happen if you haven’t sold him by the deadline? Oh, I’m sure they’ll give us a little more time. But what then? Awkward silence on the line

Moments later, my phone rang: “Can we adopt a hamster?”