Hideout Love List: Andy Crouch’s Graduation Show

LOOK AT THE BABIES

As far back as college, which is not that long before our story begins, I remember thinking that I didn’t have a “thing.” My housemates had a variety of hobbies: acting, guitar, death-defying sports, hell even Native American dancing. I was into… poking on the pre-Facebook Internet and watching the Simpsons. I remember telling my best friend that I needed something.

That was my situation in mid-2001, soon after graduating, when my college pal Andy Crouch fatefully invited me to his improv graduation showcase at the Hideout Theatre, where he’d been taking classes from my other college pal Shana Merlin. 

Sidebar: I always need to remind myself that this wasn’t the first improv show I’d ever seen. During college I attended a ComedySportz show on the UT campus; an exceptionally lewd set at a conference in Oklahoma; and most vividly, a show in College Station where I was an audience volunteer onstage.1 

But anyway, all that was prehistory. Andy’s show was the first time I’d ever bought an improv ticket with enthusiasm. And given my lack of a “thing,” I was improv-curious as I walked into the Hideout for the first time. But I thought to myself what everybody probably thinks: I can be funny, but I don’t know if I can just… walk out onstage and be funny.2 

Here’s the important part of the story: the show wasn’t that good.

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Introducing: My Hideout Love List

An average night at the Hideout

My last performance on the Hideout Theatre stage was February 29, 2020, an otherwise-typical Maestro where we gossiped in the green room about this “COVID” thing. My next last performance was a weird one—four months later, filming a political ad for a fictional audience in an empty, locked-down building. Then I moved to Amsterdam, but there were additional last performances too, on subsequent visits home. 

So you’ll understand that I hesitate before declaring that my October 8th Out of Bounds performance with USS Improvise, the improvised Star Trek musical3, really was my final one at the Hideout’s current location. I’d love to be wrong! But I think it was. The Hideout’s losing their building at the end of the year and raising money for a new venue and their next chapter. I support this effort, but I also believe buildings can have souls, and this one sure as hell does.

Me on a ghost tour, appropriately
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Glen Hamsterd

Loving animals is a core part of Kiki’s identity—one of her go-to t-shirts reads “Be kind to animals or I’ll kill you.” (I bought it for her.) The number of times we’ve risked adopting an animal is so high that it’s a wonder we’ve actually gotten so few.

Last year, a butterball of a hamster snuck past the defenses, so to speak. It all started with an act of Big Government that would make Ron Swanson grumble: The Netherlands banned certain non-native species as pets, among them the Russian dwarf hamster. Our local pet shop had one who’d been available for awhile, but nobody wanted because he was a biter. Kiki asked them: What will happen if you haven’t sold him by the deadline? Oh, I’m sure they’ll give us a little more time. But what then? Awkward silence on the line

Moments later, my phone rang: “Can we adopt a hamster?”

Zup.
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The Thing I Got Wrong About Thelma & Louise

You don’t need to sell me on Thelma & Louise; it’s been on my list of favorite movies as long as I’ve had one. When we studied it in my college screenwriting class, the professor rightly called Callie Khouri’s Oscar-winning screenplay “flawless.” When it appeared on the schedule for Movies at H’art Museum—a charming summer program that screens movies in the museum courtyard—it was a no-brainer.

Which made me all the more surprised that, seeing it for the first time in a decade, I just couldn’t believe how great it was. It might be Ridley Scott’s best. We should be talking about this movie all, the, time.4

My memory of the movie had a specific flaw that directly related to how I was managing to underrate it. To simplify, there’s two categories of “buddy” protagonists: you’ve got your odd couples (Kermit and Fozzie, Eve and Villanelle) and your peas in a pod (Bill and Ted, Romy and Michele). Thelma and Louise start the movie as best friends and are literally never separated by more than a few feet, so in my memory they were a lightly-bickering pair of peas, complete with with a green convertible as their pod. 

I was wrong.

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What I Learned in 2,500 Days on Duolingo

I first met Duo the owl before a move to The Netherlands was even a glimmer in my eye, opening duolingo.com on a lark one day at work and discovering how devilishly simple they’d made it to get started. After two or three clicks, I was learning the basics of Dutch: vrouw = woman, jongen = boy. Weeks later, I surprised Kiki on one of her visits to Texas by showing off my fancy new Dutch skills: “De vrouw heeft een appel.” (The woman has an apple.)

It only took a couple of months before Duolingo’s various casino-style “gamification” tricks got me on a daily streak that, as of this writing, stands at 2,500 days. Like most addictions, I never expected it to last this long. Unlike most addictions, it’s adding rather than removing brain cells. 

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Seven Samurai

Prior to last week I had seen Akira Kurosawa’s “Seven Samurai” exactly once, when I took a Kurosawa class in film school, and I spent the last 25 years telling myself to see it again. It’s easy for a 200-minute black-and-white foreign film to stay off the top of the list, ya know? But Lab111, Amsterdam’s answer to the Alamo Drafthouse, is running a Kurosawa retrospective5. So on Friday night I decided my excuses were spent and skipped a truly excellent improv show to spend a big chunk of my night with the samurai.

Entire books have been written about the movie, and I’m not gonna add anything useful here. Its impact is both deep and wide. Its Wikipedia article is a film-history lesson. Any time you’ve ever seen a motley crew get together to save the imperiled villagers, from “The Three Amigos” to “The Avengers,” you can thank Kurosawa. The fact that it’s all so normal-seeming makes it hard to appreciate the norms that it’s inventing as it goes (“Citizen Kane” also has this problem). 

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It’s a Love Story

Photo by Robin Straaijer

Back when it premiered in the middle of Lockdown Summer 2020, “Ted Lasso” felt like something more than a welcome distraction. Its unapologetic, earnest, insistent optimism seemed important somehow, like buying into its sunny view of the world was an act of resistance in dark times.

Now it’s five years later, that much farther down the dark path. And my wife’s unapologetic, earnest, insistent optimism delivered its own little act of resistance. “It’s a Love Story,” her improvised romantic comedy, was the second production by our friend Willem Van Den Brink (my own show, “As Seen on TV,” was the first). Like mine, “It’s a Love Story” was a full-length unscripted genre play, or “narrative longform” in improv lingo. Unlike mine, it was a big cuddly hug from first rehearsal to final bow.

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Blogging is So Back

Been thinking about this quote since I saw it yesterday, so I’m preserving it here (where else?). Gonna try to blog more, even if I know it’s broadcasting into the void.

Blogging is small-p political again, today. It’s come back round. It’s a statement to put your words in a place where they are not subject to someone else’s algorithm telling you what success looks like; when you blog, your words are not a vote for the values of someone else’s platform.

Matt Webb

White Ravioli.

Apparently it’s Neurodiversity Celebration Week. So in the interests of making mental quirks more visible and less taboo, I’ll share that I’ve got Tourette Syndrome!6 Let’s learn some more about it, shall we?

Tourette Syndrome isn’t as rare as you think. It’s entirely possible you’ve had it your entire life without realizing, as I did until my late 30s, when I described my behavior to a therapist and she suggested it. “Huh,” I thought, “I guess having the exact symptoms of a thing COULD mean that I have the thing.” It was so baked into my inner life that I’d never even considered it!

Definitionally, Tourette’s involves multiple physical tics and—most famously—at least one involuntary verbal tic. You’re certainly thinking of curse words right now, as it lives in the popular imagination: who doesn’t love a random “FUCK!” screamed out at grandma’s funeral? But that turns out to be a separate phenomenon called coprolalia, which is only loosely associated with Tourette’s. The verbal tic can be anything at all, which is where it gets fun.

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